(Note to the reader: Today was supposed to be the day that we looked at Guarding Our Hearts. I sat down to work on my rough draft yesterday, and hated it, and deleted it. And then I couldn't finish the other thing that I started, so today we're going to look at Boys....instead. Hopefully the post about guarding your heart will go up tomorrow! Thanks for understanding!!)
If you have ever seriously liked a guy, you know how painful it can be if you let your feelings run away with you being pulled along behind. You know that it hurts when the guy doesn't talk to you as much as you would like, or when he pays attention to every girl except you. You know that you turn red and your ears perk up every time someone mentions his name.
I've totally been there. What are we supposed to do about those feelings? I'm going to try and give you some ideas today.
(This is more specifically written for the girl who really really really likes a guy, not so much for the girl who has a crush).
1) Take those feelings to God.
This is serious, girls. I'm not just talking about a quick, night-time prayer, saying, "God, I like so-and-so." This is huge. I'm talking about all the time, day after day, giving this over to God. Every single day, moment by moment, begging Him to help you let Him be enough to fulfill you. It's not easy.
2 Corinthians 10:5 says this:
"We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ..."
Take your thoughts captive. Don't let them run away with you. When you feel yourself begin to think about that certain boy's good looks, or how much fun it would be to hang out with him, or what y'all could do together if you started dating, or wondering what he wants to name y'all's kids...I mean, his kids... capture those thoughts and give them to Christ. Be obedient and let Him be enough.
Pray Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
In other words, tell your parents. Involve them. They won't bite your head off. This will help you in several ways:
First of all, you won't have to try to keep secrets from your parents, which is almost impossible anyways. Secondly, it helps you build a stronger relationship with your parents. Thirdly, it gives your parents an opportunity to see where you are emotionally, and helps them as they help prepare you to be a good wife. Fourthly, it'll give your parents a reference point for when you need to be talked to because of your...crush...or whatever you want to call it.
3)Once you've told your parents, trust their counsel
Friend, this is so huge. You can tell your parents, but then totally ignore what they have to say. Been there, done that. But their advice is so valuable, and they are so much wiser than you. Learn to listen and trust them to know what's best for you.
4) Watch what you say.
You know when you have a conversation with that certain guy and then after that you hit the replay button in your mind and listen to the conversation over and over? And then you get your best friends involved and start playing the "he said-she said" game? Not a good idea, girl. That only makes matters worse, because not only are you dwelling on him, but you are getting your friends involved in a giddy, girly way.
5)Get rid of things that irritate your symptoms.
It's hard to remain pure and not dwell on that attractive guy when you spend all day listening to sappy love songs, reading romantic literature, watching movies where love is the main theme. I'm not saying you can never watch Pride and Prejudice again (heaven forbid!) or listen to a love song, but are those things feeding your soul? Are you living on them?
6)Learn to wait and see.
We do not know what God has planned for our lives. It's that simple. You have to learn patience. It's a virtue, you know. One that I don't possess. I'm working on it, so we can learn together.
7)Allow him to lead.
Don't pursue him, please! Yes, even if he's the tallest, handsomest, most amazing guy you've ever met in your entire life! Don't do it.
Now, I'm not saying here to completely ignore him. Just don't pursue. Don't follow him around. Don't spend time with only him at church or school or wherever you're together. Don't make it obvious that you're attracted to him. Don't be mean, but don't be overly interested. Don't spend all your time touching his arm and laughing at his jokes like they're the funniest things in the world. Don't comment on every one of his posts on Facebook.
Always ask yourself, "Am I doing these things to get him to notice me?" And remember, denial is not your friend.
Friend, know that those desires will always be present. But you can choose whether you let them get out of hand or not.
You will meet a lot of guys over the years. Don't get caught up in them. Don't pursue them. Make it your ambition to be pleasing to the Lord, not pleasing to that one boy.
(I took the 7 points out of the book Joyfully At Home by Jasmine Baucham. It is an amazing book and a must-read! Even if you are not currently a stay-at-home daughter, you will learn and be challenged to love Jesus more and pursue Him no matter what your circumstances! So go grab a copy!)