Preparing For Someday, Part 2: Waiting-What It Doesn't Accomplish

"I've grown comfortable with staying at home, waiting for a guy to come along and sweep me off my feet, and then marry me. Waiting...waiting...waiting. It doesn't fulfill me to wait. Waiting does not make me zealous for God. 

I sure as heck haven't given up my dreams of being a wife and someday a mom. But I am not going to spend the rest of my teenage/high school/living at home years waiting. Everlastingly waiting. Waiting (for me) basically means that I want a different position in life, and am no longer content with where I am. 

How many times a day do I wish that I was married? Or at least in a relationship that was headed in that direction? How many times a day do I wonder what God is doing in my life? Or if He even is doing anything??

That's discontentment. Discontentment robs me of the joy in my simple, everyday life. It takes away the beauty of what God is doing and makes me wonder if He'll ever do what I want Him to. It's all about me. Waiting focuses on me. 

How can I be God-focused if I'm busy waiting for tomorrow? For me, it's impossible.  I can't serve God, and myself. It's that simple."

The above was taken from my journal. I wrote it almost a week ago, after reading this post. I want you to go read it. Yes, right now. If you don't intend to read it, then go ahead and click the little red x in the corner, because the rest of this post won't do you any good. Thank you. :)

"I already have Him … and He is everything."

If you didn't just read that sentence at the bottom of the post I linked to, then you need to go back right now and do as I said and read the darn thing! :) (Gee, some people just don't listen!)

As I'm sure you all know from reading my blog, or talking to me, or emailing me, or being around me...I'm not in a relationship with anyone. I'm single. Footloose and fancy-free. Or...something like that. I'm not headed towards marriage with that one guy who has come along and completely swept me off my feet. 

I'm holding out for a superstar. Someone who will (in the words of my brother) love Jesus, love me and work his tail off to provide for me and our kids. 

Holding out and waiting are two very different things. But...how often do I actually say, "I'm holding out"?? Hardly ever. Until writing this, I only remember saying it maybe twice. I always, 98% of the time say, "I'm waiting..." 

These are some of the definitions of waiting found on Merriam Webster Online:

to stay in place in expectation of something

to remain stationary in readiness or expectation


So basically when you're waiting, you're standing still, in expectation of something. This basically sums up what we (as Christian young women who want to marry superstars) are doing. We are standing still, because we expect something to happen. 

Eventually, we think, a guy will come along and realize what a wonderful wife we would make, and fall head over heels for us and bibbidi-bobbidi-boo, we're married. Why? Why are we standing still, waiting? Why do we expect something of God? 

As I've been thinking about this, I looked up wait in the concordance in the back of my Bible. It listed these 4 references: Psalm 25:5, Psalm 119:81, Romans 8:19, and Galatians 5:5. I'll let you read them in the order I just listed them:

  "Lead me in Your truth and teach me, for You are the God of my salvation; for You I wait all the day."

"My soul languishes for Your salvation; I wait for Your word."

"For the anxious longing of the creation waits eagerly for the revealing of the sons of God."

"For we through the Spirit, by faith, are waiting for the hope of righteousness." 

Were those verses talking about waiting on a guy? I don't think so. They are all talking about God. "For YOU I wait all the day..." "I wait for YOUR WORD..." "We are waiting for THE HOPE OF RIGHTEOUSNESS..."

I want to be waiting for that. I want to have a constant longing for more of God's Word. I want to be expecting Him to reveal Himself to me in a new way, each and every day. Because, honestly girls, God is the only thing in this life that you can count on. He will never ever let you down. 

You can't count on a guy. Most guys are a dime a dozen. Even the guy that you will eventually marry is a sinner, and you will never be able to rely on him like you can on God.    

I have said before that I want the desire of my heart to be for Jesus. And, y'all, I mean it. I don't say that lightly. I love Jesus so much. And I want to love Him even more. I want Him to be my very life. I want Him to be the only reason I get up in the morning. 

I want to be waiting for Him. Waiting for Him to perfect me and make me holy.

Please don't think that this is just as simple as saying, "Okay God, my desire is gonna be for You now. I'm not going to wait for a guy." It's not easy at all. It's like taking all of my dreams and flushing them down the toilet. It's basically saying, "God, if I never get married and never have kids and just live in my parents house for the rest of my life, it'll be perfectly okay because I've got You." 

Just sitting here and re-reading that makes me wonder if it's worth it. 

I'm trying to be blunt and honest with y'all. I'm putting myself out there so you can know that this is not something that I've got mastered. Heck, everyday I find myself wishing more and more that I knew for sure that I was going to be married by the time I'm 20 years old. Everyday single day, I find myself wondering why God hasn't (seemingly) done anything so far. 

Day after day, I wait. And wait. And wait...and sometimes at night, I cry...wondering why so many of my friends are meeting nice guys and getting into relationships and I'm not. 

I don't have this thing mastered. I am not always the happy-go-lucky person that I appear to be. I'm not always strong and reliable. 

But...I'm not waiting anymore. 

I am no longer going to sit back and wait for a guy to come to me. I'm no longer going to expect anything from God, but Himself. I'm no longer going to wish and hope that I'll be married by the time I'm 20 years old. 

There is so much more to life than waiting. Yes, I could sit here at my computer and type out posts and work on my novel and play piano and listen to love songs and read books about the Christian way to date or court or whatever word you want to use, and wait...and that could go on for forever. Would that fulfill me? Never in a million years. 

There's some Newsboys lyrics that come to mind when I think about this. They say:

"I can't see myself without You. With You, I find strength to do things I never ever dreamt in a million years...with You I can do the impossible."

 

Friend, with Jesus, you can't fail. 


So quit waiting and jump the gun. Do something that you thought you'd never be brave enough to do. Tell that friend about Jesus. Let go of that relationship. Give that family member a hug and tell them you love them. Get down on your knees and beg God to help you wait for Him and Him only. 

Go for it. 

You've got God...and He's all you need.