this girl (a post about me)

In only 17 more days, I will be 18 years old. That is freakily exciting. Scary and wonderful. Honestly, folks, it blows my mind. Tell me it blows your mind too so that I will feel better. (Mom, it doesn’t count for you. Of course it blows your mind that your baby girl will be 18 in only 17 days!) But seriously, I feel slightly intimidated, like I’m not ready to be eighteen.

I think my uncertainty about this age started when a certain boy had his 22nd a few weeks ago. We talked on his birthday about how 22 was so official and old and adultish... (not technically a word, but who cares?). He said, “Yeah, today just felt like a normal Wednesday. I got up, went to work and came home. It was uneventful.” We laughed about it and then he said, “It’s kind of like turning 35. Like my life is officially over.” It was a sarcastic comment, but it got me to thinking. That’s always dangerous.

I started thinking about growing up. Growing old. I know, I know. I’m not going to be ancient when this birthday comes around. But I’ll be 18! Thomas turned 22 this year. Michael will turn 25 the day after I turn 18. We’re all getting older. It’s crazy. Michael’s married and runs businesses and  has a kid. (and a cute kid at that). Thomas is married and living in Savannah and working and hiking mountains.

And then there’s me. 17-almost-18-year-old Jennifer Mole. A wannabe author. A girl who’s biggest dream is to get married and have babies. Someone who when she is at home with her siblings will blast the music and have a dance party in the kitchen. The girl who wishes she could sing like Whitney Houston, or play piano like Lionel Ritchie. 

The girl who loves loves loves old music, (go look up Sherry by Frankie Valli. You’ll love me.) and the colour blue and the smell of coffee and soft hair and hugs from her brothers and long talks with her mom and driving her car and cell phones and friends and role models and old black and white movies and TV shows and emails from friends who live far away. The girl who cries easily. 

The girl who loves hard and has given her heart away too often. The girl who feels like a hypocrite because she doesn’t live out some of the stuff she blogs about. The girl who reads minds and can tell when something is wrong with one of her friends. The girl who loves being around people. The girl with many friends. The girl who dislikes conflict but isn’t afraid of it. 

The girl who always speaks before she thinks and then ends up feeling bad later on. The girl who is discerning, but sometimes not discerning enough. The girl who gets irritated easily but can’t stay mad for long. The girl who absolutely cannot ignore a person. Doesn’t do the silent treatment. The girl who laughs really loud. The girl who isn’t at all afraid to speak her mind or tell a person what she thinks of them. 
The girl who has a reputation for being a talker, not a thinker. 

The girl who started a blog simply because her best friends begged her to. The girl who gives in easily. The girl who hates doing laundry and ironing but has conquered her hatred for washing dishes. The girl who has bad days. And I mean really bad ones. The girl who sometimes wonders if she will ever get married or be in a relationship or have a guy for her best friend.The girl who would die for her younger siblings, but has a hard time being nice to them on a daily basis. The girl who hates math. The girl who has a love affair with music. The girl who thinks her mom is the bomb. The girl who loves her daddy. 

The girl who loves Jesus more than anything else. The girl who will be 18 in only 17 more days. The girl who feels like she's only 8.

Yep. That's me. You probably just learned more about me in that post that you have in every other post I've ever written. Honesty isn't always easy, friend. Sometimes it means telling things about yourself that you might not want to share. But I promised myself I would always be honest on my blog. So there's my honesty for the day. 

Today remember that Jesus loves you just as you are. It's not based on anything you have done, but based on what He has done for you. He is good and His love endures forever. Have a good day, friend. 






 

thanksgiving and a birthday

Happy Thanksgiving! Friend, remember everything you have to be thankful for. Give thanks today, and enjoy your time with your loved ones. And eat as much as you want! :)


Today is a very special girl's birthday. Last year at this point, I had no idea this girl was even on the planet. She is a California girl and I live in South Carolina. She's a dreamer, and so I am. We met through the blogging world, and became friends. Many comments and some emails later, we've realized that we're kindred spirits.

isn't she adorable? (stole this right off her blog... ;)

Today is Erin's birthday. Head over to her blog and give her many happy birthday wishes. :)

Erin, thanks for the many encouraging posts you have written and for your heart for Jesus. You are a light shining in a dark world and I am so glad we connected! I hope that this next year is one in which you can serve the Lord more fully and be fulfilled by Him more than you ever have before. And make your dreams come true, girl. :) Love you! (and one of these days I will come visit you! promise! :)

thankfulness

Thursday is Thanksgiving. But you knew that, right? If you didn't, you are in need of some help, I'm afraid. Moving on...

Lately I've been thinking about thankfulness. My thoughts even led to starting a "things I'm thankful for" page on my blog. I just keep adding things to that list. It's funny how much I actually have to be thankful for. So much more than I think I ever realized. God has seriously blessed me, y'all. 

So here's a list of things I'm thankful for right now:
-a new cell phone
-Zeke
-younger siblings
-our "we are thankful for..." white board at our house
-water
-iPods
-older brothers
-Mom
-Dad
-relatives coming into town for Thanksgiving
-Gamecocks/Clemson game on Saturday (which I am attending in person... ;)

and so many more things. God is good. He gives me so many things that I don't need and I don't deserve, but He gives them to me just to show that He loves me and that He cares. And I'm thankful for that, friend. I'm thankful for His love for me, even though I don't deserve it. 

I'll be back after Thanksgiving has passed, full of turkey and ham and many desserts, with some thoughts on legalism, grace, husbands/guys (yep, going back to that topic again), convictions and other things. And if at any time, you have a question or would like me to write a post on a certain subject, just email me at betterthatway@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you!

Happy Thanksgiving, friend.       

our thankfulness board

thoughts on God's sweet love, fulfillment and finding yourself

God is good, friends. His love is so sweet. A dear friend of mine put it this way: "Weddings are sweet, but marriage is sweeter. Marriage is sweet, but Christ is sweeter still. Keep seeking and treasuring Him." I loved her words. We get so caught up in the moments of everyday life that we often miss out on who God is and what He has for us. My life has been like that lately. 

I've been caught up in a situation in my life. Caught up in making things happen, caught up in what I wanted and how I could get it. So caught up that I wasn't allowing God to work in me and through me. So caught up that I was missing on something sweet: His plan for me!

It's so easy to (conveniently) forget about His plan when we have an idea of what we want. It's easy to get caught up in something or someone just because we want that, and then leave Him out of the equation. Trying to squeeze God to make Him fit our plans never works out very well. 

Last night I wrote these words in my journal:
"What the heck is God doing? I want so badly to just know. To trust and believe and hope again. To be free from hurting and wondering and waiting. I want to be fulfilled by Him...tonight I just want to be secure and fulfilled again."

After I finished writing those words, I read this quote in the corner of my journal:
"The most difficult thing to let go of is my self, that self which, coddled and cozened, becomes smaller as it becomes heavier. I don't understand how and why I come to be only as I lose myself, but I know from long experience that this is so." (Madeleine L'Engle, author of A Wrinkle In Time)

As I read that, tears came to my eyes. I realized that the only way to be "fulfilled by Him" is to let Him fulfill me. He can't do something that I won't let Him do. It wasn't His fault that I wasn't fulfilled. As I sat on my bed, I picked up my iPod and clicked shuffle. I had no idea what song was going to come on, but the song that did come on sent me to my knees. As soon as I realized what it was, I started crying. 

"Yesterday I could not feel this
 Today I'm sick of trying 
 To live like I can live on my own
 This world around me is suffocating 
 I keep forgetting to turn and run to You.

 So find me, wherever I am, won't You find me?
 I got myself lost and I don't think I want to be roaming in heartache.
 Please find me tonight.

 I make it hard and I can't stand it
 Can't wrap my head around it 
 I wrestle with You more than I should
 I make a mess of everything but You see the best in me
 I'll never be too far gone. 

 So find me, wherever I am won't You find me?
 I got myself lost and I don't think I want to be roaming in heartache.
 Please find me tonight." 
(Lyrics by Everyday Sunday-Find Me Tonight)

I hadn't listened to that song in years. It had never made an impact on me. I thought it was a nice song, but that was it. But last night, it hit me and it hit me hard. I was on my knees, crying my eyes out, finally understanding that it's only when we lose ourselves that God can work. Only when we let go of what we want, can He give us what He has for us. Only when we realize just how sweet His love is can we really begin to be fulfilled. 

Friend, life isn't always easy. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes the growing hurts, sometimes relationships end, sometimes you wonder what God's doing...but just know that He is doing something even if you can't see it. God knows what He's doing and He never makes mistakes. 

Rest in Him today, friend. His love is so sweet and He will sustain you. And remember that:
 "... the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor & honor. No good thing will He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.”

(a special thanks to Mom for being such an amazing friend and mentor, Erin for sharing the verse with me, and my sisters for taking the pictures. :)

happy birthday

to one of the best boys in the world.

He makes me laugh.

He makes me cry (basically because I miss him all the time)

He is so talented.

He loves Jesus. He loves Becca. He loves his family.

And he loves me.

So a very happy birthday to my boy, Thomas. I love you more than you could possibly imagine. Thanks for making my life happy. 

I hope that this next year brings you many opportunites to make
your dreams come true. 

some pictures to make your Saturday happy (hopefully! :)

Here's some pictures for you to enjoy this Saturday!

Zeke!

ooohhh, wish I had one of those right now!

Madeline (Bubble) and me (Clank)

me and Jessie

classic roller coaster faces

piano lesson time!

yep. that's about right.

Have a happy weekend, friends! :) 

learning about contentment

If any of you are like me at all, you will relate to this. You'll totally get the fact that I struggle with being content. You'll understand that I long for change. You'll be right there with me on the minimal patience thing. 

Lately, God's being teaching me a lesson about contentment. He's been teaching me that it isn't a huge deal. That it isn't about tomorrow or three years down the road. He's taught me that contentment is about today. It's about how I react to today and the situations I encounter today. 

 If you really stop to think about it, contentment is all about being grateful. It's all about being thankful for what you have and not wishing for other things. So this post is about some things I'm super thankful for. 

 How could I not be thankful for that adorable thing? Zeke is amazing. He spent all day Saturday with us and we got to have some "Aunt Jen-Zeke" time. It was great! :) 

 Absolutely gorgeous sunsets. 

That picture. It's on my wall and makes me laugh every time I look at it.

 Those two people. That picture. Seriously. Makes me smile every time I see it. (Yes, you can say "aww...")

And then that girl. She's a really good friend of mine, Frances. We got to hang out for a while on Sunday night. She's hilariously funny, beautiful inside and out, and loves Jesus a whole lot. (And that's her boyfriend, Micah, who just so happens to be as nice and funny as she is. It must be because they're both second-born children. I don't know :). 

and then there are random things that I'm grateful for that I don't have pictures for:
-my iPod (even though it's on it's deathbed)
-Mom's blog (go check it out. I mean it. She will explain some of the reason why I have been absent here lately)
-my bed
-talking with good friends under the stars with the smell of smoke filling the fall air
-my guitar
-Voddie Baucham sermons (You should listen to this one)  

I'll be back soon with more posts about life and some of the things God is teaching me. 

Until then, stay strong, friends, and have a happy weekend.