Wednesday, November 28, 2012

this girl (a post about me)

In only 17 more days, I will be 18 years old. That is freakily exciting. Scary and wonderful. Honestly, folks, it blows my mind. Tell me it blows your mind too so that I will feel better. (Mom, it doesn’t count for you. Of course it blows your mind that your baby girl will be 18 in only 17 days!) But seriously, I feel slightly intimidated, like I’m not ready to be eighteen.

I think my uncertainty about this age started when a certain boy had his 22nd a few weeks ago. We talked on his birthday about how 22 was so official and old and adultish... (not technically a word, but who cares?). He said, “Yeah, today just felt like a normal Wednesday. I got up, went to work and came home. It was uneventful.” We laughed about it and then he said, “It’s kind of like turning 35. Like my life is officially over.” It was a sarcastic comment, but it got me to thinking. That’s always dangerous.

I started thinking about growing up. Growing old. I know, I know. I’m not going to be ancient when this birthday comes around. But I’ll be 18! Thomas turned 22 this year. Michael will turn 25 the day after I turn 18. We’re all getting older. It’s crazy. Michael’s married and runs businesses and  has a kid. (and a cute kid at that). Thomas is married and living in Savannah and working and hiking mountains.

And then there’s me. 17-almost-18-year-old Jennifer Mole. A wannabe author. A girl who’s biggest dream is to get married and have babies. Someone who when she is at home with her siblings will blast the music and have a dance party in the kitchen. The girl who wishes she could sing like Whitney Houston, or play piano like Lionel Ritchie. 

The girl who loves loves loves old music, (go look up Sherry by Frankie Valli. You’ll love me.) and the colour blue and the smell of coffee and soft hair and hugs from her brothers and long talks with her mom and driving her car and cell phones and friends and role models and old black and white movies and TV shows and emails from friends who live far away. The girl who cries easily. 

The girl who loves hard and has given her heart away too often. The girl who feels like a hypocrite because she doesn’t live out some of the stuff she blogs about. The girl who reads minds and can tell when something is wrong with one of her friends. The girl who loves being around people. The girl with many friends. The girl who dislikes conflict but isn’t afraid of it. 

The girl who always speaks before she thinks and then ends up feeling bad later on. The girl who is discerning, but sometimes not discerning enough. The girl who gets irritated easily but can’t stay mad for long. The girl who absolutely cannot ignore a person. Doesn’t do the silent treatment. The girl who laughs really loud. The girl who isn’t at all afraid to speak her mind or tell a person what she thinks of them. 
The girl who has a reputation for being a talker, not a thinker. 

The girl who started a blog simply because her best friends begged her to. The girl who gives in easily. The girl who hates doing laundry and ironing but has conquered her hatred for washing dishes. The girl who has bad days. And I mean really bad ones. The girl who sometimes wonders if she will ever get married or be in a relationship or have a guy for her best friend.The girl who would die for her younger siblings, but has a hard time being nice to them on a daily basis. The girl who hates math. The girl who has a love affair with music. The girl who thinks her mom is the bomb. The girl who loves her daddy. 

The girl who loves Jesus more than anything else. The girl who will be 18 in only 17 more days. The girl who feels like she's only 8.

Yep. That's me. You probably just learned more about me in that post that you have in every other post I've ever written. Honesty isn't always easy, friend. Sometimes it means telling things about yourself that you might not want to share. But I promised myself I would always be honest on my blog. So there's my honesty for the day. 

Today remember that Jesus loves you just as you are. It's not based on anything you have done, but based on what He has done for you. He is good and His love endures forever. Have a good day, friend. 



  1. Love this post and your sweet heart!!! =) =)
    You are a gem girlie! =)
    Happy Early Birthday!! =)
    I can relate to a lot of what you wrote haha!
    Much Love,

    1. Aww thanks, sweet friend!
      Much love to you, too! :)

  2. :) Getting old isn't too bad.. I can't think why it isn't right now but I'm sure it will come to me. :D LOL 22 was my favorite birthday so far if that helps you out any! :) Happy 18th birthday and enjoy it! You only get to be 18 once! :)

    1. Well that's good to know. And besides, you never really change inside. At least, I don't! :) Thanks for reading and commenting! ;)

  3. It was nice to learn a bit more about you! I appreciate your honesty. :) Our God is awesome! I'm sure He will use your talents wonderfully as you serve Him in your life. :)
    Btw, I'm an aspiring writer as well, and dreaming of being a wife and mother. :)

    1. Thanks, Becca, for reading and commenting! :) God is so awesome! :) Thanks for your encouraging words.
      Sounds like we have much in common, then. :)


  4. Wow Jen!! That was inspiring!! LOVE it!!!!! I love and miss you! <3 :)

  5. Loved getting to learn more about you through this honest post! Happy early birthday!!!

  6. thanks for sharing a little bit more about yourself talented girl :)

  7. Something about that post made me laugh inside and smile both inside and outside... maybe because I could relate to so many of those things you said. Love that you have a great relationship with your mom and your dad, and most importantly with Jesus Christ. Rare to have all three. Keep up the great post, your little brother keep saying hi to me in church like we know each other but I am not sure what his name is to save my life. he seems to be good friends with the Holmes, I am used to it by now, He is awesome, I'm embarrassed to ask his name now because we talk like every sunday.. haha....what happens when your cousins talk about you so much to their friends.. they act like they know you.

    1. Well thanks for reading and commenting! :) I appreciate it.
      David Paul, he think you're his best friend! He calls you DP and tells us stories about you literally every Sunday. And you don't even know his name?? Gee whiz. It's Jamie. Jamie Mole. As far as acting like he knows you, his motto is "any relative of the Holmes' is a friend of mine." hahahaha :)

    2. HAHA! that's funny! Jamie...I've never even heard his name before. Glad he likes me, He is pretty awesome just the little I know of him. Of course he is related to the Moles.. so how can he not be awesome. Sorry our families have lived so close all these years and never really did anything together..oh well, He is great and I feel like I'm related to him strangely, Like he is one of the Holmes boys.

  8. it's the little brother looking right at me in your banner.. lol


Thank you so much for reading and commenting! You make me smile! Have a fantastic day, friend.