Monday, July 30, 2012

Fulfillment (An Introduction)

Ever since I was little I have only ever wanted to be one thing. I never wanted to be a movie star, or a ballerina, or a concert pianist. I’ve always wanted to be a mom.

I remember when I was younger and my siblings were coming along. I remember most of their births and I remember the (extremely) long pregnancies. I remember when Mom and Dad would tell us if the baby was a boy or a girl, and I remember when we would go see our new sibling in the hospital.

All those years, I knew that my heart's desire was to grow up and get married and be a mom. That desire has never been replaced with anything else.

Here I am, 17 years old; I have 9 siblings, two older, 7 younger; I have two sisters-in-law, a nephew…and a bedroom that always need cleaning. I sing in the choir at church, I am about to become involved in orchestra, I teach piano lessons, I work as my oldest brother’s secretary. And even though my desire to be a wife and mom is still there, I have other interests…

I love to play piano. I love it more than just about anything else. You set me on a piano bench and I’m in heaven. I love making music; and I love sharing music with other people.

I have learned that I love writing. I love being creative and writing down crazy ideas. I like to research certain subjects in order to write a short story. I love sitting down and just letting the words come out.

I am going into my senior year of high school. Sometimes I wonder what I’m going to do when I graduate, and how I’ll spend my days. My desire is what it always has been: to get married to a wonderful guy and have babies. I want to be a wife and mom, more than anything.

But…I can’t expect that to fulfill me. I can’t expect to be fulfilled by marrying an amazing guy. I can’t expect children to fulfill me. Only God can fulfill me. Only He can make me who I was meant to be.