Monday, July 30, 2012

Fulfillment (An Introduction)

Ever since I was little I have only ever wanted to be one thing. I never wanted to be a movie star, or a ballerina, or a concert pianist. I’ve always wanted to be a mom.

I remember when I was younger and my siblings were coming along. I remember most of their births and I remember the (extremely) long pregnancies. I remember when Mom and Dad would tell us if the baby was a boy or a girl, and I remember when we would go see our new sibling in the hospital.

All those years, I knew that my heart's desire was to grow up and get married and be a mom. That desire has never been replaced with anything else.

Here I am, 17 years old; I have 9 siblings, two older, 7 younger; I have two sisters-in-law, a nephew…and a bedroom that always need cleaning. I sing in the choir at church, I am about to become involved in orchestra, I teach piano lessons, I work as my oldest brother’s secretary. And even though my desire to be a wife and mom is still there, I have other interests…

I love to play piano. I love it more than just about anything else. You set me on a piano bench and I’m in heaven. I love making music; and I love sharing music with other people.

I have learned that I love writing. I love being creative and writing down crazy ideas. I like to research certain subjects in order to write a short story. I love sitting down and just letting the words come out.

I am going into my senior year of high school. Sometimes I wonder what I’m going to do when I graduate, and how I’ll spend my days. My desire is what it always has been: to get married to a wonderful guy and have babies. I want to be a wife and mom, more than anything.

But…I can’t expect that to fulfill me. I can’t expect to be fulfilled by marrying an amazing guy. I can’t expect children to fulfill me. Only God can fulfill me. Only He can make me who I was meant to be.

14 comments:

  1. Hey!!

    I absolutely loved reading this!! You encourage me so much. The ending was perfect, it was a great reminder that it's not about what we want but more importantly what God wants. We must become less and He must become greater.

    I can't wait to read more!! I love you!!

    - Brittany Sutton

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    1. Thanks, Brit! :) I know this is a subject that we've talked about before, but you're right, it's always a great reminder. He must increase, I must decrease! :)

      Love you!

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  2. Hi Jennifer,

    I loved reading your very first blog! Your thoughts made me think of the lyrics to John Waller's song, While I'm Waiting! Just keep on doing what God has called you to do. Pursue God with all your heart.

    By the way, I am encouraged every Sunday morning when I see you in the choir loft singing and leading us in worship. I bet you are one of the youngest members:)

    Love,
    Mrs. Waldron

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    1. Aww! Thank you for reading and commenting! It means a lot. Funny, I actually thought of that song when I was writing this post. Great minds think alike! :)

      I love seeing you and your family in church every Sunday. Y'all are just like part of the family now! :) (And yes, I am currently the youngest full-time choir member. I like it that way!)

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  3. YES YES YES. that's all i have to say. love this. LOVE YOU!!!

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  4. This is a very good reminder, Miss. Jennifer. Most gals your age (or most women, for that matter) don't think this way. We live in a culture that tells us that fulfillment comes from getting every earthly thing that we want. The truth is that, as Christians, the most satisfying relationship we will ever have, we already have with Christ, no matter what our relational or circumstantial status may be. Weddings are sweet, but marriage is sweeter. Marriage is sweet, but Christ is sweeter still. Keep seeking and treasuring Him. :-)
    love,
    jillian

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    1. Thanks for reading and commenting, Jillian! I really am encouraged by your comment; you are a great reminder to me as well. Oh and the last two sentences you wrote (weddings are sweet, but marriage is sweeter. Marriage is sweet, but Christ is sweeter still...) I'm totally going to be quoting you!! :)

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  5. I have to agree with everyone else:) You are so RIGHT! I love everything you wrote in this post jen:):) keep up the great thoughts!<3

    ~ Adeline F:)

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  6. I am in a roomful of the most wonderful young ladies! Great writing Jennifer...keep blogging! And those of you who've commented here...I just realized I know more than an average share of beautiful,God honoring young women...I am proud to know you each (even if you scarcely know me ;)

    ~k

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    1. Thanks for your encouraging words! They mean a lot to me. :)

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Thank you so much for reading and commenting! You make me smile! Have a fantastic day, friend.