The Desires of My Heart

"Do not fret because of evildoers, 

 Be not envious toward wrongdoers.

 For they will wither quickly like the grass

 And fade like the green herb.

 Trust in the Lord and do good;

 Dwell in the land and cultivate faithfulness.

 Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will 

 give you the desires of your heart.

 Commit your way to the Lord,

 Trust also in Him, and He will do it. 

 He will bring forth your righteousness as the light,

 And your judgment as the noonday.

 Rest in the Lord and wait patiently for Him;

 Do not fret because of him who prospers in his way,

 Because of the man who carries out wicked schemes.

 Cease from anger and forsake wrath;

 Do not fret; it leads only to evildoing.

 For evildoers will be cut off,

 But those who wait for the Lord, they will inherit the land.

 Yet a little while and the wicked man will be no more;

 And you will look carefully for his place and he will not be there. 

 But the humble will inherit the land

 And will delight themselves in abundant prosperity."

        Psalm 37:1-11

Lately I've been thinking a lot about this passage. 

I find myself thinking it about sometimes when I want things, maybe things that I think I need, and I really don't, or things that I do need. It really doesn't matter what the situation is: these verses always apply. 

The most common situation in which I think of these verses is this: when I think about getting married. 

As I've said many times: the desire of my heart is to get married and have kids. I want that more than just about anything else in this world. And it is not wrong for me to want that, and those are good things. There is no higher calling than that of a wife and mother. 

But is wanting those things replacing my want for Jesus? Do I constantly want to know Him more, and do I find myself thinking about Him more each day and just wondering what He's really like?? Because I catch myself doing that when I'm thinking about the guy I'm going to marry. (Whoever he might be!) I wonder what he's like, and just wish I knew him right now, and want to know everything there is to know about him.

What is the true desire of my heart?

I just finished reading Radical by David Platt. It was a truly amazing book. I see myself reading it again in the near future. But one of the things he talks about is how Jesus said that whoever would follow Him must hate their father and their mother.

Now Jesus wasn't saying for us to literally hate our family, but He was saying that we should love Him so much that, in comparison to our relationship with Him, it would be like we hated our family. 

Do I love Jesus that much? 

To be honest and up-front with y'all, I have a hard time with this. I have a hard time with delighting myself in the Lord. I have a hard time with giving my entire life to Him and just saying, "okay God, You know what's best, go for it!" 

It's not easy. 

But it seems that when I'm thinking about what I want (like a guy, or a new iPod, or a car, or whatever) I always remember this verse: Delight yourself in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart.

The verse doesn't say that if you delight yourself in the Lord, you'll get a new iPod, or a boyfriend, or a car, fill-in-the-blank. It says He will give you the desires of your heart. 

When you are delighting yourself in the Lord, your desire is for Him. 

I don't know about you, but I want to be delighting myself in the Lord; and I want Him to give me the desire of my heart: more of Him!

Today is the first day of my 12th grade year. I could want a lot of things for this year. I could wish for an easy schedule, or for me not to flunk math, or for history to be as exciting as I'm hoping it will be. But this year I have one hope:

 that by this time next year, I will know Jesus so much better. That I will love Him so much that people will be able to see it. That the desire of my heart will be for Him. 

"May the Lord direct your hearts into the love of God and into the steadfastness of Christ."  2 Thessalonians 3:5