The Young Ones

For as long as I can remember I have had younger siblings. I don't really remember Jamie or Jessie coming into the world, but I remember Lauren and the rest. I remember the nights when Mom and Dad would tell us that Mom was pregnant, and I remember the doctor's appointments in Columbia, and I remember finding out whether the baby was a boy or a girl.

Babies are fun. I love babies. I cannot wait to have my own. But somewhere along the line, my siblings grew up and became kids and not just cute little babies. And somehow they started getting on my nerves.

I get along with most of my siblings, for the most part. As a matter of fact, I get along with the majority of my siblings. But I have two siblings who I feel like I constantly knock heads with. These two siblings are the ones who are most like me. Makes sense. I get easily irritated when I'm around them and will almost always say something that I regret later.

Up until I was 15, my relationship with one of my brothers (who is younger than me) was in a pretty bad state. We despised each other to say the very least. We argued constantly, yelled, fussed and drove our poor mother to distraction. We were always at each others throats. It was bad. Really bad.

The reason behind me being so mean to my brother was this: I was jealous. Thomas and my brother were really close, and they would go on boy adventures and play the GameCube and I felt left out. It made it even worse that I thought Thomas was my best friend. I didn't wan tot share him with anyone, especially not my kid brother.

If you know anything at all about me, you know that I'm a super proud person. My reasoning with my brother was, "Why be nice to him when he isn't nice to me?" I really just didn't want to admit that I was wrong. I really hated thinking about our relationship. Mom would say to us, "Are y'all still going to be treating each other this way when you're adults. Cause that's going to be a terrible family reunion if y'all are still gonna be at each other's throats." I really didn't care. Or at least I thought I didn't.

When I was 15 years old, I was really good friends with a guy at church. He was the same age as my brother. I viewed the guy at church as mature, funny and enjoyed his company. I viewed my brother as immature, annoying and tried to avoid him.

One day I was sitting on my bed, thinking about the guy friend of mine and wondering why my brother wasn’t like him. As I sat there, I thought: "Do I encourage my brother like I do my friend? Do I say good things about my brother like I do my friend?" The answer was always no. I knew that I never had anything good to say about my brother, especially to his face. I felt God saying, "Maybe if you treated your brother like you do your friend, things would be different."

I argued. "This is not my fault. He's just immature. He wouldn't change no matter how nice I am to him!" God just kept nudging me. I tried my best to ignore God. It doesn't work.

That Sunday night, during Bible time, I said that I wanted to say something. (Cue the water works…) In between crying and wiping my eyes and sniffing, I told my brother that I was sorry. I told him why I had been so mean to him, because I was jealous. I told him that I wanted us to be friends. I told him that I really did love him.

My brother was really forgiving. We both started being nicer to each other. We had to watch what we said, and sometimes we just had to walk away from each other to avoid saying something we would later regret.

We still haven't obtained a perfect "brother-sister" relationship. We still fight. We still argue. We still get on each other's nerves. Some days we yell at each other. Some days we wish we didn't live in the same house.

I wrote a post for Mom's blog about how she made a decision to not yell. Mom used to yell a lot. Now she hardly ever yells and if she does, she apologizes for it. My relationship with my brother is like that. We still fight, but we both apologize. We both know that we love each other.

Having a good relationship with your younger siblings is not easy. It's hard. There are days when I just want to give up and just say, "Oh well, I tried." You can't quit though. Quitting with only make the situation worse. Don't be a quitter. A relationship with your sibling will last you a lifetime. You will have a built-in best friend, who will never give up on you no matter what stupid things you do. And trust me, it's worth it to let go of your pride and simply apologize.