Thursday, August 29, 2013

on why my slovakia recap stopped...and why it will start back

have you ever been really in love with something? I mean really in love? I'm not talking about a person, I'm talking about an object...or a place...something that you just really feel deeply about.

that's how I feel about Slovakia. I've been told (countless times) that its just because its the first place I ever traveled. I've been told that its because it was my first adventure. I've heard that its because of the people that were there. but honestly, I just really love that country.

the day I got home from Slovakia, I wasn't happy to be here. yes, I love my family. I really love them. I was glad to see them, but my heart was hurting so bad. I held it together all through the airport hugs and stories and more hugs. I made it through the kids trying to tell me everything that happened while I was away. we drove to Sonic and I made it through an entire watermelon slush and a medium fry. but then, as Moms and Daddy and the kids and Thomas and Becca stood, scooting tables and throwing away trash, I just leaned up against a table, and thought for a minute. and I started thinking about Slovakia. and about how much my heart was hurting. I felt my lips trembling, and a tear rolled down my cheek.

Mom saw it and she came over and just hugged me, as I sobbed, right there at Sonic. I cried because I missed the people that I had grown to love. I cried because I was angry that I was my heart was hurting so bad. I cried because I just wanted to be back in Slovakia.

and you know what? I cried every day for about 2 weeks. nights were the hardest. I cried every night. and guess what? I still cry sometimes. I cry because I miss it, so so much.

as I was crying into Michael's shirt about two weeks ago, I said, "Will it ever stop hurting?" and he nodded. but honestly, as I think about it now...I don't want it to stop hurting. I don't want to ever lose my love for that country and that people.

there is a need there, friend. yeah, they seem to be well-off, they don't live in mud huts, they have shoes. they even seem happy. but you can see the need. you can see it in people like Peter. you can see it in the gypsies. you can see it in the eyes of the kids. you can see it even in a church service, when people cry as they worship.

that's why my slovakia recap suddenly came to a screeching halt. it was because the more I posted, the more I shared my heart, the more I missed it. and so, I haven't written any posts about Slovakia in over a week. but I'm coming back. because I want to share with you. I want you to know about the need. I want you to know about the fun parts. I want you to share in the adventure. and so I'll be back with more posts soon. I'm not sure how soon...but soon. if I don't show up soon, just email me and yell at me.

(as a complete side-note, I'm guest-posting over here today for my dear blog friend, Callie. go check it out and make sure you read some of her posts! she is so encouraging!!)

1 comment:

  1. I've heard so much about the detox of a mission trip. I've heard how it can be so difficult to transition back into "real life". So thank you for posting this, love. Thank you for sharing your heart. I pray that the Lord would fill you with peace and ease that aching that you're feeling!



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