where you invest your love, you invest your life

As I told you in my last post, I've been doing the She Reads Truth: Hosea plan with some of my beautiful blogger friends. Loving it, too. It has been so amazing. 

Last night, I had gotten a little behind, so I played catch-up. I was listening to "Awake My Soul" by Mumford and Sons, and it just so happened that they used the lyrics in one of the readings! (Coincidence? I think not...) Here's some of my notes:

-"Come let us return to the Lord; for he has torn us, that he may heal us; he has struck us down, and he will bind us up." Jesus allows us to be broken. He helps us to realize just how much we need him. When we get to the point where we can't go on anymore, we understand that we are nothing without him. 

-This book is a beautiful picture of faithfulness. There is a bride, a bridegroom and the things that draw the bride away. She deserts her groom, leaves him behind but expects him to be there if she gets into any trouble. And the groom just stands there. He waits, watches, heals, restores and constantly loves. That is the story of the gospel. It is a story of redemption and restoration. It is a story of forgiveness and faithfulness. It is the story of how God never changes. 

"For every look you take at yourself, take ten looks at Christ. He is altogether lovely." -Robert Murray McCheyne

-The larger my view of sin, the larger my view of the cross. 

"Sow for yourselves righteousness; reap steadfast love...it is time to seek the Lord..."

"In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die

and where you invest your love, you invest your life.

In these bodies we will live, in these bodies we will die

and where you invest your love, you invest your life."

Awake My Soul-Mumford and Sons

a little life update

HEY FRIENDS!

Wow. I wrote those really honest posts and then disappeared for a bit. Sorry about that. I have been super busy with life stuff for the past week. So let me just fill you in on some of what's going on in this girl's life. 

-I started the She Reads Truth Hosea plan. Y'all. It has been SO GOOD. It is such a beautiful picture of grace and redemption. But also a picture of what happens when we turn our backs on our Father. It has been such a good reminder that, even when I am faithless, He remains faithful because He cannot deny Himself.

-I've been hearing some amazing sermons! As some of you know, who follow Mom's blog or are personal friends, we left our church. We've been attending CBC of Savannah. IT IS AMAZING. The worship, the sermons, the people...everything. I recommend going to the churches website and listening to the sermons that Bill has been preaching for the past few weeks. There are incredible. 

-I've been realizing how darn lucky I am to have my older brothers. Seriously, y'all. They blow my mind. Here's example a:

That boy. I love him. He knew what I needed to hear that night. Blew me away. Blog post about that conversation coming sometime soon. 

And now example b:

That boy. He's my boss. And my hero. And my best friend. And he called me yesterday while I was in Wal-Mart. We talked about work stuff. And then he asked me how many days I was going to be gone to Slovakia. I told him and asked why he wanted to know. He wanted to know because he's writing me a note for every day I'm gone!! I melted into a puddle on the floor in Wal-Mart. Sweetest thing ever. (He's the same guy that texted me on Valentine's Day). :) I love that dude. 

-addressing, stamping, stuffing and sealing lots of envelopes. Like, 300 envelopes. Yeah. It was work stuff. I enjoy it though!

-obsessing over this little guy. Seriously, I can't stand that much cuteness.

Anyway. That about wraps it up for now. Hope that y'all are having a lovely weekend.

Be back soon! 

thoughts on the disciples and on God using us

In Sunday school for the past year or so, we've been studying the book of Luke. We took a break to work our way through "Not a Fan" by Kyle Idleman (more on that book some other time) and to do a couple of separate lessons. So, at this point we are in Luke 9. And I have loved every lesson. 

A few weeks ago, our lesson was about when Jesus sent out the disciples. You can read about this in Matthew 10, Mark 6, and Luke 9. Luke 9 says this:

"And He called the twelve together, and gave them power and authority 

over all the demons and to heal diseases. 

And He sent them out to proclaim the kingdom of God and to perform healing."

The disciples were sent out. They had been in kind of an internship. They had been training under Jesus. Don't know about you, but that would be the most awesome internship of all time. Unfortunately, I don't think that at the time they really got it. But anyway.

Its time for them to go out and see what they can do. Jesus gives them power and authority. He gives them the ability to cast out demons and perform healing. They are to proclaim the kingdom of God. Sounds possible, right?

There were a few conditions, though. Here's what Jesus said:

"Take nothing for your journey, neither a staff, nor a bag, nor

bread, nor money; and do not even have two tunics apiece. Whatever house

you enter, stay there until you leave that city. And as for those who do

not receive you, as you go out from that city, shake the dust of 

 your feet as a testimony against them."

They were going out. And they could take absolutely nothing with them. They couldn't take money or food; they weren't allowed to take a bag, or some extra clothes or even a walking stick. They had to completely trust the people they were ministering to for the things they would need. Sounds a little risky to me. I can just hear them thinking, "Dang, are we gonna be hungry? And how the heck are we going to cast out demons???!" 

As humans, our tendency is to immediately doubt. We want to be in control. We want to have some security. If it was me, I would be saying, "Okay, Jesus. But can I please have my purse. I mean, it has my wallet in it. And that has my money and my debit card. No? Well can I take my phone? Please??" Nothing in this sinful body wants to let go. It wants to be in control. I want to be in control. 

Not only were they having to totally let go, and trust that they would be taken care of, but they had to be on their guard. Jesus told them:

   "Behold, I send you out as sheep in the midst of wolves;

be as shrewd as serpents and innocent as doves."

 They were about to face some serious persecution for the first time. Up to this point, all the darts had been pointed as Jesus, but now, they weren't going to be able to hide behind Him. They were going to be on their own. 

Remember this: these weren't well-spoken lawyers. These men were fisherman, tax collectors, and there was even a zealot in the group. Which leads me to a super quick side note: (rabbit trails, we call them in Sunday school. : )

Simon was a zealot. He is called that in the Gospels. He was one of the 12 men that followed Jesus around. Zealots were men who believed that the Messiah would come as a conquering hero and overthrow Rome with the sword. Then Jesus came. That is why most of the Jews didn't believe Him to really be the Messiah, because He wasn't coming as a king to free them of the shackles of Rome. And for one of His followers, He chose one of them. It makes me wonder what Simon originally thought of Jesus and how he felt when he found out that Jesus wasn't going to take Rome out. But back to the original thought...that being that...

these men weren't known for their eloquence. Peter usually spoke before he thought. John and James fought about sitting at the right and left hand of Jesus in Heaven. Matthew was a tax collector. (He probably wasn't looked upon with favor). Nathanael was known for his honesty. These men (and the others) were sent out to proclaim the kingdom of God.

Are you wondering what the whole point of this post is? Well, here it is:

God uses normal people.  

He uses fisherman and tax collectors and zealots and doctors (like Luke who wrote about this stuff : ) and carpenters and small-town girls like Mary. He uses shepherd boys and kings and little boys like Samuel. He uses those who choose to make themselves available to Him. He uses those who chose to deny themselves and take up their cross and follow Him. 

So, friend. Are you going to let Him use you? Are you going to let Him do something amazing through you? Or are you going to just sit back and let life completely pass you by and never do anything with your life? 

It's not all sunshine and roses. Following Him is tough. It gets hard. He lets us know that. He didn't beat around the bush. He told us we would be hated by men for His name. 

But...would you rather men hate you, or God be disappointed that you didn't let Him use you? 

As for me, I think I know what I'm going to choose.     

    

goal is a four letter word

Tonight after supper I said, "I need to write a blog post about goals." Mom (without missing a beat, of course) said, "Goal is a four letter word." :) We laughed about it, and I told her I was going to use it in the post. (pictures are from a 10th grade school day :)

Goals. It's something I've been meaning/wanting to write about, and just haven't yet. This past year I wasn't really diligent about my goals, but I also didn't really set goals that were attainable. My goals were things like: finish writing my novel, learn to run a home, learn to cook... things like that. Those aren't goals that you can really attain in a year.

This year, I want to set goals that I can actually work towards. In Sunday school this past Sunday, Mrs. Claudia told us she was going to set a spiritual goal, a physical goal, a relational goal and a professional goal. So I thought about that. Here's the ideas I had:

spiritual goal: spend at least a few minutes every day this year in God's word. Whether that means reading a few quick verses or spending an hour digging into what He has to say. Just spending time getting to know him better!

physical goal: work out. period. I love the way I feel when I'm working out. I just feel good, and who doesn't like that?? =) I want to start running again. A good friend of mine reminded me on Monday that back in 2010 I couldn't run a step and he and his brother helped me learn to run. I ended up running 30 minutes at a time by the next year. But then I got slack. So now I'm jumping back on the bandwagon...er...treadmill.

relational goal: get closer to my siblings. work on mentoring the girls at church.

professional goal: I'll be graduating this summer. I want to be a good student for this last little bit. My goal here is to just work my tail off til graduation, and actually feel good about it when I'm done.

So those are my goals for 2013. I'll keep you updated. Hopefully at the end of every month we'll have a little goal post. You remind of that, okay? So I told you about my goals. What are yours??

thoughts on God's sweet love, fulfillment and finding yourself

God is good, friends. His love is so sweet. A dear friend of mine put it this way: "Weddings are sweet, but marriage is sweeter. Marriage is sweet, but Christ is sweeter still. Keep seeking and treasuring Him." I loved her words. We get so caught up in the moments of everyday life that we often miss out on who God is and what He has for us. My life has been like that lately. 

I've been caught up in a situation in my life. Caught up in making things happen, caught up in what I wanted and how I could get it. So caught up that I wasn't allowing God to work in me and through me. So caught up that I was missing on something sweet: His plan for me!

It's so easy to (conveniently) forget about His plan when we have an idea of what we want. It's easy to get caught up in something or someone just because we want that, and then leave Him out of the equation. Trying to squeeze God to make Him fit our plans never works out very well. 

Last night I wrote these words in my journal:
"What the heck is God doing? I want so badly to just know. To trust and believe and hope again. To be free from hurting and wondering and waiting. I want to be fulfilled by Him...tonight I just want to be secure and fulfilled again."

After I finished writing those words, I read this quote in the corner of my journal:
"The most difficult thing to let go of is my self, that self which, coddled and cozened, becomes smaller as it becomes heavier. I don't understand how and why I come to be only as I lose myself, but I know from long experience that this is so." (Madeleine L'Engle, author of A Wrinkle In Time)

As I read that, tears came to my eyes. I realized that the only way to be "fulfilled by Him" is to let Him fulfill me. He can't do something that I won't let Him do. It wasn't His fault that I wasn't fulfilled. As I sat on my bed, I picked up my iPod and clicked shuffle. I had no idea what song was going to come on, but the song that did come on sent me to my knees. As soon as I realized what it was, I started crying. 

"Yesterday I could not feel this
 Today I'm sick of trying 
 To live like I can live on my own
 This world around me is suffocating 
 I keep forgetting to turn and run to You.

 So find me, wherever I am, won't You find me?
 I got myself lost and I don't think I want to be roaming in heartache.
 Please find me tonight.

 I make it hard and I can't stand it
 Can't wrap my head around it 
 I wrestle with You more than I should
 I make a mess of everything but You see the best in me
 I'll never be too far gone. 

 So find me, wherever I am won't You find me?
 I got myself lost and I don't think I want to be roaming in heartache.
 Please find me tonight." 
(Lyrics by Everyday Sunday-Find Me Tonight)

I hadn't listened to that song in years. It had never made an impact on me. I thought it was a nice song, but that was it. But last night, it hit me and it hit me hard. I was on my knees, crying my eyes out, finally understanding that it's only when we lose ourselves that God can work. Only when we let go of what we want, can He give us what He has for us. Only when we realize just how sweet His love is can we really begin to be fulfilled. 

Friend, life isn't always easy. Sometimes it's hard, sometimes the growing hurts, sometimes relationships end, sometimes you wonder what God's doing...but just know that He is doing something even if you can't see it. God knows what He's doing and He never makes mistakes. 

Rest in Him today, friend. His love is so sweet and He will sustain you. And remember that:
 "... the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor & honor. No good thing will He withhold from those whose walk is blameless.”

(a special thanks to Mom for being such an amazing friend and mentor, Erin for sharing the verse with me, and my sisters for taking the pictures. :)

learning about contentment

If any of you are like me at all, you will relate to this. You'll totally get the fact that I struggle with being content. You'll understand that I long for change. You'll be right there with me on the minimal patience thing. 

Lately, God's being teaching me a lesson about contentment. He's been teaching me that it isn't a huge deal. That it isn't about tomorrow or three years down the road. He's taught me that contentment is about today. It's about how I react to today and the situations I encounter today. 

 If you really stop to think about it, contentment is all about being grateful. It's all about being thankful for what you have and not wishing for other things. So this post is about some things I'm super thankful for. 

 How could I not be thankful for that adorable thing? Zeke is amazing. He spent all day Saturday with us and we got to have some "Aunt Jen-Zeke" time. It was great! :) 

 Absolutely gorgeous sunsets. 

That picture. It's on my wall and makes me laugh every time I look at it.

 Those two people. That picture. Seriously. Makes me smile every time I see it. (Yes, you can say "aww...")

And then that girl. She's a really good friend of mine, Frances. We got to hang out for a while on Sunday night. She's hilariously funny, beautiful inside and out, and loves Jesus a whole lot. (And that's her boyfriend, Micah, who just so happens to be as nice and funny as she is. It must be because they're both second-born children. I don't know :). 

and then there are random things that I'm grateful for that I don't have pictures for:
-my iPod (even though it's on it's deathbed)
-Mom's blog (go check it out. I mean it. She will explain some of the reason why I have been absent here lately)
-my bed
-talking with good friends under the stars with the smell of smoke filling the fall air
-my guitar
-Voddie Baucham sermons (You should listen to this one)  

I'll be back soon with more posts about life and some of the things God is teaching me. 

Until then, stay strong, friends, and have a happy weekend.

Preparing For Someday, Part 6:What Am I Looking For?

I've already posted about this subject one time. You can read that post here.

The book of Proverbs gives a lot of examples of what a godly young man looks like. It tells us what wisdom looks like and what folly looks like. Proverbs 31:3-5, 8&9 says this:

"Do not give your strength to women, or your ways to that which destroys kings, O Lemuel, it is not for kings to drink wine, or for rulers to desire strong drink, for they will drink and forget what is decreed, and pervert the rights of all the afflicted...

Open your mouth for the mute, for the rights of all the unfortunate. Open your mouth, judge righteously, and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy."

That passage lays out what a man should and shouldn't do. 

1) He shouldn't give his strength to women or his ways to that which destroys kings

2) He shouldn't drink wine or desire strong drink

3) He should open his mouth for the mute and for the rights of all the unfortunate.

4) He should judge righteously and defend the rights of the afflicted and needy.

His delight should be in the law of the Lord, and in that law he should meditate, day and night. He should be like a tree, firmly planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in its season, and its leaf does not wither and in whatever he does, he will prosper. (Taken from Psalm 1)

His love for God should define him; it should be totally evident to me and to the rest of the world that God is the most important thing in his life.

Another big deal is: what does he treat his mom like? Or his sisters, if he has them. Does he treat them with the respect and love that they deserve? Is he a total gentleman towards them? It's honestly a breath of fresh air when I see a guy talking to his mom in the hallway at church and holding the door for his sisters and helping them carry their bags to the car. That's a real man for you.

I have met a lot of guys in my 17 and 3/4 years (I'm so past the half marker now :) There have been very few that I have respected and even fewer that I have thought I could possibly "date". Are my standards too high? Do I expect too much?

I don't think so. All of my standards and expectations come from what I have seen played out by my older brothers. All 6 or 7 or 8 of them. They have showed me what real men look like, and they've showed me what sacrificial love looks like.  

I have seen that real men know when you stand up for what they believe in, but they also know when you just let something go and not fight it. They know what's worth fighting for. 

Real men will be leaders. They will lead in love, intimacy, righteousness, selflessness and the word of God. (One of my older brothers told me that. :)He won't want or expect you to make decisions, but he will realize that you can have your say in the matter. 

A real man will take care of himself, you and others. He will watch out for those he cares about. He will keep himself healthy and take care of his body.

A real man will be a missionary, always reflecting Jesus. It doesn't matter if he lives in his hometown or moves to Africa, he will always let the light of Jesus shine. 

A real man will love me for who I am. He will love me when I am at my very best, and when I'm at my very worst. Sometimes I wonder if he could ever really love me when I'm having a really bad day and am super emotional. But then I see my brothers, who love their wives unconditionally, and I see that they love me unconditionally. That gives me hope.

My boy will love my family. He'll be a part of the family, and feel right at home. (Maybe not right away, because at the beginning some members of my family will probably make it severely awkward for everyone concerned... :) He'll be able to hang out with them and enjoy their company even when I'm not around.

A real man will work hard. Even when it's hot outside and he'd rather be in the air conditioning, or even when it's freezing and he'd rather be inside with a cup of coffee. (He will like coffee, right??)

My boy will love Jesus, love me, and love our kids, even before they're born. He'll love his family, my family, and our family. 

You may be thinking that my boy doesn't exist; you may be wondering if I'll ever meet a guy like that. Well, there's hope. My older brothers fulfill all those requirements, so I know that there must be more guys like that out there. So, I'll just wait until he comes along. It may be sooner rather than later, or maybe later rather than sooner. Either way, he'll be a gift from God, a gift that I don't deserve.

 

Preparing For Someday, Part 5: So...What If I Never Get Married?

Happy Monday, friends! I'm so glad to be back. I feel like I've been on a long vacation. Thomas and Becca got married on Saturday and the wedding was BEAUTIFUL and SO MUCH FUN and HAPPY and every good thing. :) I was a bridesmaid along with Becca's roommate, Meagan and her sister, Lindsay. The wedding ceremony was beautiful, and the reception was awesome and turned into a dance party! We all had a blast. And now they're married and will live happily ever after! :)

But anyway, onto today's topic which is: So...What If I Never Get Married? (Inward shudder, anyone?) And as a side-note, isn't it a little ironic that this is the topic when I just finished talking about my brother's amazing wedding?? :)

Personally, this is something that I rarely ever think about. Not because I'm okay with being single but because I'm scared to death to think about it. It literally freaks me out a little when I think about never getting married.  

When I think about it, I ask myself questions like: what would I do with my time? How would I survive? Will I just live with Mom and Dad for the rest of my life? 

This is a serious question to ask yourself. What would you do if you never got married? Or what would you do if you didn't get married until you were, say, 25 or 30? 

There is never a promise in the Bible that every girl who really desires marriage will get married. God owes us nothing. Yes, He does bless some of us and some people do end up getting married, but marriage is not a given. 

So...what if I never get married? What if you never get married?

"But I want you to be free from concern. One who is unmarried is concerned about the things of the Lord, how he may please the Lord; but one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how he may please his wife, and his interests are divided. The woman who is unmarried, and the virgin, is concerned about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and spirit; but the one who is married is concerned about the things of the world, how she may please her husband. This I say for your own benefit; not to put a restraint up on you, but to promote what is appropriate and to secure undistracted devotion to the Lord." (1 Corinthians 7: 32-35)

Whew. Serious verses there, Jen. Don't fuss at me, fuss at Paul. He wrote them. Don't take them lightly.

I want to ask you something. 

Are you concerned about the things of the Lord? Are you holy in both body and spirit? 

God has really been teaching me lately that if I am not truly desiring Him and loving Him with my whole heart, then really, marriage is not an option. I can never be a good wife if I am not a good daughter to Him. 

What are you doing with your single years? Are you wasting them?

I have been guilty of wasting my single years. I haven't invested enough time in my relationship with God, my family or friends. However, I'm not done being single yet.

So here's a list of things that I personally am working on while I'm not married:

1) Be concerned about the things of the Lord. Be holy in both body and spirit. Delight myself in the Lord.

2) Learn patience. 

3) Enjoy the little things in life that may seem mundane. 

4) Remember that God is working. If He wasn't working, I wouldn't be here.

Just four simple things. The thing is, even if I never get married, I can still work on those things. I can still perfect them. Because marriage is not promised me. And so I want God to be my main goal. 

If I never get married, I will still be striving to please the Lord in every move I make. No matter what I'm doing. Whether I'm still living at home and helping my mom and helping train my younger siblings; whether I'm working for my brother or teaching piano lessons; whether I move out and live in a different city or become a full-time nanny...or if I get married and have at least 7 kids...no matter what, I want to be pleasing to the Lord. 

You can do so much more for the Lord while you're single. Most of the younger women that have mentored me have done so while they were single. GraceAnna, Jillian, Becca, all women who mentored me while they were single; all girls who were concerned about the things of the Lord and then were blessed and got married. 

If you know that you've been wasting your single years up to this point, realize that there is still hope. We can learn together. We can pray together. We can even cry together when life gets tough. But let's decide that today can be different. Today we can start being concerned about the things of the Lord. 

"But you, be sober in all things, endure hardship, do the work of an evangelist, fulfill your ministry." (2 Timothy 4:5)

Preparing For Someday, Part 4:Guarding Our Hearts

"...for the intent of man's heart is evil from his youth..."

"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."

"Cast away from you all your transgressions which you have committed and make yourselves a new heart and a new spirit!"

"The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?"


You may wonder where I am going with those verses. Well, today we're going to talk about one of the most well-known phrases on the church scene. Yep, that's the one I'm talking about. Guard your hearts.

Any young man or woman in between the age of 11 and 21 has heard this phrase used at least a hundred times, maybe more depending on how involved they've been in youth group and Sunday school. I was never exposed to the "guard your hearts" phrase, because I quit attending Sunday school in 6th grade and didn't go back until 11th grade. In the meantime, I worked in nursery and helped in my parent's 1st grade Sunday school class.

When I first started going to the high school girls' Sunday school class, I got a heavy dose of the "guarding your heart" medicine. It got me to thinking...why do teachers and leaders and pastors use that phrase? Is it really biblical? 

Oh, I know all about the verse in Proverbs that says this:
"Watch over your heart with all diligence, for from it flow the springs of life."

I'm not saying that there isn't a verse that says that. It's pretty clear. 

But are the teachers and leaders using this verse biblically? 

The majority of the time when the teachers and leaders use this verse, what are they talking about? Guys or girls. How you shouldn't like a guy, or a girl. Am I right?

Did Solomon (or rather, God) really mean it in that way?

Our hearts are, by nature, ugly, dirty and filled with sin. When we get saved, the old things pass away and all things become new. So, we get a new heart. But our tendency is still to be sinful. We are that way because Adam and Eve sinned at the beginning of time. 

We have to work hard to keep our hearts clean. They are not naturally blooming, blushing beauties. They just aren't. 

To me, this verse means a lot more than just not liking someone. It goes a lot deeper than that.

You have to watch every word you say, for "out of the mouth flows that which fills the heart." You have to be careful what things you fill your mind with. Because that's what this verse is talking about. The reference to our hearts really means our minds. 

You have to decide who you'll spend time with, what relationships you'll invest in. You have to make up your mind that you won't watch movies that are inappropriate.

Guarding our hearts shouldn't simply be about whether we like that guy or not; it should be about so much more. When someone guards their heart, they are making a conscience effort to be more like Christ. And that is, after all, our job.


"Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, and offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. 
But immorality or any impurity or greed must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints; and there must be no filthiness and silly talk, or coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. For this you know with certainty that no immoral or impure person or covetous man, who is an idolater, has an inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 
...for you were formerly darkness, but now you are Light in the Lord; walk as children of Light...trying to learn what is pleasing to the Lord...
Therefore be careful how you walk, not as unwise men but as wise, making the most of your time, because the days are evil. So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is." 

So you may be asking yourself, or me, "If the guarding your heart verse isn't talking about liking a guy, is liking a guy okay?" Good question. At what point does liking a guy become a problem?

In all my 17 and a half years, I have only ever seriously like two guys. I have liked a few more than that, but never more than just liking them. You know there's a difference, right? 

Here's the difference: with the other guys I have just "liked" it has been something as simple as, "he's cute." I might have thought about him, wrote about him in my journal, little things like that. The two guys that I seriously liked...well that's a different story.

I became emotionally involved with both of them. I spent time getting to know them and we were best friends. That made it so much harder when we stopped talking. With the first guy, we were both in denial and claimed we didn't like each other and it made our situation very awkward. We didn't talk to each other for several months.

With the second guy, I ended up "breaking up" with him because I knew we were too close. 

Both of those times, I walked away with heartache, because I had gotten involved emotionally. The problem wasn't that I had initially liked them, but I let those feelings run away and carry me with them. 

When your leaders or teachers are constantly telling you to guard your heart, they are not necessarily saying to never like a guy again. As a matter of fact, I guarantee you most of them would tell you that liking a guy is a normal part of life. God created us that way. 

I don't hate myself because of the two "relationships" I have been in. I have learned a lot about life because of them. But my relationship with my parents, siblings and God would be stronger now if I hadn't wasted time like that. I got too caught up in what I wanted at the time and what "felt good", and ignored the conviction I felt and didn't care about guarding my heart.

Healing isn't easy once you've gotten involved in something emotionally. That's one of the reasons, I believe, that our leaders are so strongly urging us to guard our hearts. They understand how hard it is to watch over your heart, and keep yourself pure. They understand that it hurts when you get involved in something emotionally.

You have to make the decision to watch over your heart with all diligence, because every decision you make is going to come from the heart. While that's a little scary, because our hearts are not perfect, it's also promising, because we are learning together to be imitators of God, as beloved children. 

Preparing For Someday, Part 3: Boys...

(Note to the reader: Today was supposed to be the day that we looked at Guarding Our Hearts. I sat down to work on my rough draft yesterday, and hated it, and deleted it. And then I couldn't finish the other thing that I started, so today we're going to look at Boys....instead. Hopefully the post about guarding your heart will go up tomorrow! Thanks for understanding!!)



If you have ever seriously liked a guy, you know how painful it can be if you let your feelings run away with you being pulled along behind. You know that it hurts when the guy doesn't talk to you as much as you would like, or when he pays attention to every girl except you. You know that you turn red and your ears perk up every time someone mentions his name. 

I've totally been there. What are we supposed to do about those feelings? I'm going to try and give you some ideas today.

(This is more specifically written for the girl who really really really likes a guy, not so much for the girl who has a crush).

1) Take those feelings to God.
This is serious, girls. I'm not just talking about a quick, night-time prayer, saying, "God, I like so-and-so." This is huge. I'm talking about all the time, day after day, giving this over to God. Every single day, moment by moment, begging Him to help you let Him be enough to fulfill you. It's not easy. 

2 Corinthians 10:5 says this:
 "We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ..."

Take your thoughts captive. Don't let them run away with you. When you feel yourself begin to think about that certain boy's good looks, or how much fun it would be to hang out with him, or what y'all could do together if you started dating, or wondering what he wants to name y'all's kids...I mean, his kids... capture those thoughts and give them to Christ. Be obedient and let Him be enough.

Pray Your will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven. 

2)Embrace accountability.
In other words, tell your parents. Involve them. They won't bite your head off. This will help you in several ways: 
First of all, you won't have to try to keep secrets from your parents, which is almost impossible anyways. Secondly, it helps you build a stronger relationship with your parents. Thirdly, it gives your parents an opportunity to see where you are emotionally, and helps them as they help prepare you to be a good wife. Fourthly, it'll give your parents a reference point for when you need to be talked to because of your...crush...or whatever you want to call it. 

3)Once you've told your parents, trust their counsel
Friend, this is so huge. You can tell your parents, but then totally ignore what they have to say. Been there, done that. But their advice is so valuable, and they are so much wiser than you. Learn to listen and trust them to know what's best for you. 

4) Watch what you say.
You know when you have a conversation with that certain guy and then after that you hit the replay button in your mind and listen to the conversation over and over? And then you get your best friends involved and start playing the "he said-she said" game? Not a good idea, girl. That only makes matters worse, because not only are you dwelling on him, but you are getting your friends involved in a giddy, girly way. 

5)Get rid of things that irritate your symptoms.
It's hard to remain pure and not dwell on that attractive guy when you spend all day listening to sappy love songs, reading romantic literature, watching movies where love is the main theme. I'm not saying you can never watch Pride and Prejudice again (heaven forbid!) or listen to a love song, but are those things feeding your soul? Are you living on them?

6)Learn to wait and see.
We do not know what God has planned for our lives. It's that simple. You have to learn patience. It's a virtue, you know. One that I don't possess. I'm working on it, so we can learn together. 

7)Allow him to lead.
Don't pursue him, please! Yes, even if he's the tallest, handsomest, most amazing guy you've ever met in your entire life! Don't do it. 
Now, I'm not saying here to completely ignore him. Just don't pursue. Don't follow him around. Don't spend time with only him at church or school or wherever you're together. Don't make it obvious that you're attracted to him. Don't be mean, but don't be overly interested. Don't spend all your time touching his arm and laughing at his jokes like they're the funniest things in the world. Don't comment on every one of his posts on Facebook. 
Always ask yourself, "Am I doing these things to get him to notice me?" And remember, denial is not your friend.


Friend, know that those desires will always be present. But you can choose whether you let them get out of hand or not. 

You will meet a lot of guys over the years. Don't get caught up in them. Don't pursue them. Make it your ambition to be pleasing to the Lord, not pleasing to that one boy. 


(I took the 7 points out of the book Joyfully At Home by Jasmine Baucham. It is an amazing book and a must-read! Even if you are not currently a stay-at-home daughter, you will learn and be challenged to love Jesus more and pursue Him no matter what your circumstances! So go grab a copy!)